Anonymous, Montgomery County Parent
“When our family had our first child about 14 years ago, my husband's solution [for child care] was family. He is African, and he wanted our children to be cared for by his sisters or cousins and not be put in formal child care. We went through the visa process [for his relatives] when both of our boys were born, and it never worked out. My husband was shocked when I shared with him how expensive child care was 14 years ago — about $500 per week for an infant. And it has only gotten more expensive.
We had our third child almost four years ago, and a child care center cost over $600 per week, so instead we chose family child care, which still cost $400 per week. But in order for our family to survive in Montgomery County, both parents need to work. One income is not enough to support our family. We also don't have extended family who lives nearby, so we are constantly piecing care together. For example, today, my two older children don't have school or camp, so they go to a neighbor's house. We've tried building relationships with neighbors, friends from school, and former early care and education teachers, but it's stressful to always be searching and hoping that these informal agreements will continue to be possible.
When my oldest was 4, he started a new preschool program. They didn't have before-care, only after-care. The school started at 9 AM, so we would drop him off at a neighbor's house, who also had a 4-year-old. Initially, the mom said it was fine — the boys could just play together. However, one month in, the other mom told me my son was too rambunctious, rude, and wouldn't listen to her, so I could no longer drop him off before school. I had to rearrange my work schedule to start later so that I could drop him off at school at 9 AM. Kids will be kids — they aren't perfect — they are learning every moment of every day, and any adult who is around them needs to have patience to work with them, give them feedback, and work on building a trusting relationship with them.
We always wanted a third child, but after having two young boys under the age of 5 and paying close to $50,000 a year for child care, we had to wait until our kids were in Kindergarten so that we could afford child care for a third child. Then the pandemic hit, my husband lost his job, I was the only person working, and the idea of a third child was out of the question. Slowly, in 2022, my husband started working again — first it was Papa John's, then a car dealership, and now he works at a nonprofit, which has led to more stability for our family. When my husband was working at the car dealership, we found out we were pregnant with our third child.
When we had our first child, family child care made me nervous — having only one adult with eight children — I struggled to understand how a single person could do that, so we always went with center care until our older children were preschool age. With our third child, and because of affordability, we had to choose family child care. It was the only option available that was affordable. As a parent of three, I make difficult choices every day [like], ‘Do we have enough money for something other than spaghetti and pancakes this week for dinner?’
This summer, my middle son said he didn't want to do summer camps, which is a financial relief, but then that means he's now home every day while I need to work, and I don't want him to just be on a screen for eight hours while I have to work. Parents all want what is best for their children, and we are making difficult choices every day about how to economically support our families, how to help the development of our children, how to feed our children healthy food, and how to connect our children to the resources and support they need to thrive.”
Anonymous
Montgomery County Parent